the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
