I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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