I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
