We won't sleep together?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
