honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
