Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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