Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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