he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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