I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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