we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
