I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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