So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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