I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
