just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
