You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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