Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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