I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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