she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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