what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
