Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
