Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
