i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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