bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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