so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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