Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
