Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
vagina is talking i cant
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
