I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
It's rum buckets o'clock
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
