We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
