I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
