with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
