Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
