addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
