yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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