I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
