No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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