I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
