so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Randomize
