Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
