I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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