my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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