living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
