Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
