So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
