If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
