# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
