i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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