I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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