fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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