I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
