Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
