Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
