what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
