It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
NoShamevember. You game?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize
