we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
