How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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